


Pirate Husbands

by bjdunkelfuck



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Pirates of the Caribbean AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 23:02:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2001327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjdunkelfuck/pseuds/bjdunkelfuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically that scene in the third Pirates of the Caribbean where Will and Elizabeth get married but with Grif and Simmons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pirate Husbands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ultraliving](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultraliving/gifts).



> AJ (imagine-enderdragons on tumblr and EastOwl here) had this idea and i thought i'd write it  
> Sorry I keep writing the sads, it's a problem.

Several bodies began flying towards the ship and after a glance at Grif, Simmons ran forward and swung his blade at the closest figure. A battle broke out on the deck of the ship, swords clashing and bodies collapsing to the ground. Simmons hoped to whatever deity that none of them were Grif.

“Simmons!” The sound of Grif’s voice made him swing his head around to look at him as he stabbed a man in the shoulder. Grif sliced the torso of another man and spun to cut up a woman’s arm before he was a few feet in front of Simmons and he grabbed his arm, “Simmons.”

Simmons looked up into Grif’s brown eyes and the shorter man smirked, “Marry me.”

He stared at Grif in disbelief, “Uh, I-I don’t think this is the best time?”

A woman attempted to stab Simmons and he elbowed her in the face, swiveling around to slice an approaching man. Grif stabbed a dark haired woman in the heart and sliced down a few people before responding with “This might be the _only_ time!”

_Was Grif seriously fucking_ proposing _right now?!_ Simmons stabbed and sliced a few others before yelling back, “Are you serious?!”

Grif made his back through the mass of  enemies, hacking them down and grabbed Simmons’ arm again, “Yeah, man. Will you marry me or what?”

Simmons watched him for a moment and then yelled out, “Sarge!”

Grif gave him a baffled look and the taller man turned to Sarge who was on the higher deck, “Sarge, marry us!”

Sarge spun around to face the two and ground his teeth in annoyance, “I’m a little busy at the moment!”

More enemies began to crowd around them and Grif fought to keep Simmons close, “Sarge, now!”

Sarge kicked a few men off the higher deck, “Goddammit! Fine! Dearly fucking beloved we’re gathered here today to bring together these two dirtbags.” He continued to fight off the others as Grif continued, “Richard Simmons, do you take me as your husband?”

Simmons gave a breathy laugh, “I do!”

Grif stabbed a man then swiveled to face Simmons again, “Great!”

Simmons spent a few moments cutting down a few people before speaking, “Dexter Grif, do you take _me_ as your husband? In sickness and in health? Not like it’s going to matter much, but whatever.”

“I do!”

Sarge sighed and sliced off the arm of a woman, “As captain, I pronounce you-” a man charged him and he ran the sword through his chest, “You may kiss the-” a woman jumped from the sail and he kicked her down, “Just fucking kiss!”

Grif grabbed the front of Simmons’ vest, arm moving in between two enemies and pulling him forward into a sloppy kiss. The taller man stumbled a bit before he gripped onto Grif’s shirt and pressed further into the kiss. After a moment, a woman carved into his back and Simmons pulled back to slash off her head.

Grif had moved away to cut down a few more people, but yelled across the deck, “I fucking love you, you goddamn nerd!”

Simmons kicked a man off the deck, “Love you too, fatass!”

Simmons, Sarge, and Grif continued to attempt to keep the enemies at bay until Church swung from the other ship and landed in the mass of people, a wooden chest dangling from under his arm. Jones followed quickly after him, knocking him over and grabbing the chest. Grif ran over to pull the chest away from him and the tentacles surrounding Jones’ neck reached out to entangle around Grif’s own neck.

Simmons watched with silent fear as Grif began to writhe against the tentacles and caught Jones’ eye. A malicious grin spread across his scaly face and he tightened the grip on Grif’s throat, “Ah, is that affection I see? Love, how beautiful.”

Church stood up before Jones could react and snatched the chest, racing over to his dagger and opening the chest to reveal the beating heart of Davey Jones. Grif was dropped with a thud and Jones chased after him. Simmons ran over to Grif, skidding to a kneel beside him and cradled his head in his hands, “Hey. Hey, babe, look at me. Are you alright?”

Grif laughed, “Yeah, I’ll be fine, man. Don’t be so dramatic.”

Simmons shook his head with fond annoyance, “You’re such a douche.”

Grif leaned up to kiss him softly, “Your douche, though.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, my fucking douche.” He glanced behind him and saw Jones and Church still wrestling for the chest, coming closer and closer by the moment. “We have to get out of the way, Grif. Come on.” Grif stumbled to a standing position and Simmons began to drag him away, but Church grabbed Grif’s wrist and shoved the dagger in his hand.

Jones unsheathed his sword and ran it through Grif’s chest, but that didn’t stop Church and he pushed his hand down to pierce the heart. Jones materialized and Simmons dropped to his knees as his husband’s body collapsed above him, “Church, what the fuck?!”

Church dropped the chest, “I didn’t know he was going to stab him!”

Simmons gnashed his teeth together, “He would have died even if he didn’t! You made him stab the heart!”

Grif weakly brought his hand up to touch Simmons’ face, “B-Babe, it’s alright. Just,” he choked on the blood rising in his throat, “Just let me look at you.”

Simmons shook his head as tears began to drip down his cheeks, “N-No, Grif, please, I- you can’t leave if I’m not leaving to. D-Dexter, please.”

Grif pressed into his chest and his arm dropped, “N-No, come on, don’t call me that. You gotta keep going, alright? Steal all the fucking treasure and rule the goddamn seas, don’t die for me, please. Please don’t.”

Simmons turned Grif to face him, holding his face up with his hands, “I love you. I love you so fucking much, you idiot.”

Blood began to seep from his mouth and he gurgled out “I love you too, nerd,” before slumping into Simmons’ arms. Simmons let the blood soak his vest and shirt and just watched him silently until he involuntarily choked out a sob, “Grif, I’m sorry.” He sobbed for a good few minutes before the ship’s occupants began to surround Grif’s body and Church had to rip Simmons away from Grif so they could get onto a safe ship.

Simmons screamed out his sobs, repeating Grif’s name over and over as Church swung them over to the other ship as the ship containing Grif swirled down the whirlpool. Church sat him on a crate and put a hand on his shoulder, “I-I’m, uh, I’m sorry.” Simmons pushed his hand away and he walked off.

Grif was fucking dead. Swallowed into the sea, never to be seen again, motherfucking dead. Simmons spent so much time with the fat asshole he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with him. They were supposed to be married, pirate husbands. They were a duo, they were together to the goddamn end, Grif and Simmons. Now it was just him. Just Simmons. How was he supposed to continue?


End file.
